my miserable life.

i have sent a message over. for? i dont know? an end ? am i searching for that? or am i not?
why are u happy that i am going over warwick? maybe thats when i will be able to find a guy that suits me.
i hate that u treated me so well . i hate that u wont mind doing things for me.
i hate that u refused to come.
i hate that u are on crutches.
i hate that i love you.
and i hate that i am falling so much into you.
i hate that i feel so reckless.
i hate that i am thinking so much about you.
you are a friend that i truely treasure. but by hurting me so much , i once hated you and tried to ignore you. by deleting ur call number , i wouldnt want to delete your messages. by not deleting your messages , ur number is still there. i hate it.
i really need to be strong. i need a willpower. oh Lord. i need your help. so much.
i hate myself.